Men (women can read this too!),
You need to know this about me:
- I donât like people – especially people I donât know
- I donât like events – especially events with people I donât know
- I donât like sharing – especially sharing with people I donât know
I am the last person you would expect to be stumping for the Menâs retreat – yet here I am. Let me tell you why:
Prior to joining Kairos, my wife and I had attended several other churchâs and if you know my wife Katie (and many of you do), youâll know that she is happy to join just about any social event the church puts on. Early in our marriage, we lived in Chicago and attended this one church with a bunch of 20 somethings. I would begrudgingly go along and mix and mingle, and at each event Katie would sign us up for another social gathering. Once, she talked me into joining gender specific bible studies. At each of these Menâs Bible study meetings, I would excuse myself to use the restroom for increasingly long periods of time just to avoid being part of the non-Bible based conversations – you know…the time filling banter. By the fifth or sixth meeting I excused myself to the restroom and never came back. Iâm pretty sure they all thought I had terrible IBS and they may think Iâm still in there to this day. I canât be sure.
Here is the thing, these guys were nice guys, but I just could not connect with them. We didnât have much in common, the dialog was forced, the sharing was awkward, and it felt like there wasnât much of a reality check of the real pressures of being a Christian man in the real world. There was a lot of âChristian-eseâ commentary mixed in with some self-soothing naval-gazing. I didnât have time for this and I sure didnât have the patience. It was the last menâs church thing I did for over a decade. I loved Jesus and I loved these guys, but I did NOT enjoy hanging out with them.
Fast forward – we are living in Atlanta and we join Kairos when it moved up to Sandy Springs. I do my usual begrudging attending of events, but there is something different – I like these guys. They are real. They donât pretend to be perfect. There are those SOB’s (slightly older bunch) who have been there and done that in life. They busted their butts, loved their families, loved Jesus, and were candid about how they screwed it all up on occasion. There are guys my age in the middle of fighting the good fight of fatherhood, being a husband, and building a career. There are young guys, a few years out of college eager to get it going. These were my kind of guys. I liked them. Then the menâs retreat comes around – I thought, what the heck, and signed up.Â
At about this time, one of my best friends and I are talking. He doesnât attend Kairos. He doesnât attend church. He wasnât a Christian. I desperately wanted him to know the Lord, but I also knew that I didn’t feel comfortable directly leading him in that direction – thatâs not how this was going to happen. I needed backup. I needed guys he could connect with. Guys that could re-write who the church was in his eyes. So I invite him on the retreat:
   Him: âIs this going to get weird?â
  Me: âProbably. I donât do Menâs Retreats, but I really like these guys. I think you would like them too.â
Look, there are a ton of excuses you can come up with for not attending. But here is the thing: You can move things. You can make the time. We can help cover the cost if money is tight.Â
Put away all the excuses you use as a smokescreen to prevent you from getting to know the guys around you. My best friend had all the excuses in the world and he got past them. Now he knows Jesus and sits next to us on the right side of church every Sunday – odds are that more of you know him than know me.Â
Itâs okay, he likes people – I donât (as much).Â
Heâs a better guy than me anyway. All the guys in the church are. You should come on the retreat and get to know them as I have.
– Steve Gohde
Men’s Retreat at Lake Burton
Mark your calendars, the Men’s Retreat on Lake Burton is set for August 23-25. We have booked four lake houses in the same general area on the lake. Retreat will include: meals, group activities (Friday or Sunday golf for those interested), time with friends, and much needed time to relax. Cost prior to July 29th registration is $230 and increases to $270 after July 29th. Click here to register. Questions contact Joe at joe@kairosatlanta.org.